Saturday, December 31, 2011

What will I change for myself this New Year...

1. I will learn to let people Love me.
2. I will learn to trust myself with more chalanges
3. I will learn to not me shy around people
4. I will start eating healthy
5. I will get my weight under control
6. I will not let myself get depressed
7. I will not let what Friends or Family say get to me
8. I will not let what Friends or Family think about me get to me
9. I will not let Friends or Family bring me down
10. I will learn to Love Lindsey even more than what I love her now
11. I will tend to her needs before mine
12. I will always be there for her
13. I will try and not dissapoint Lindsey, no matter what
14. I will never let anybody come between us, Friends or Family
15. I will humble myself more
16. I will not let people scare me
17. I will learn to be more open with Lindsey
18. I will not let Friends or Family tell me how to live my life
19. Family issues will not get to me
20. I will Fight for mine and Lindseys rights

These are my New years promises to myself..
what will yours be??

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Life for Me...

What our Love meens to us...

one of our first pics together...

I love when she Kisses me...I feel compleate...

Our first Christmas together...

I can never live without her...

Our story is a story that will probley be wierd to most of you...We have known each other for almost 8 years...we lived in the same apartment complex...she would always offer a ride to me when it was cold or 10 feet of snow on the ground, and me always being my shy self would say "no thank you" and keep walking...everyday i would walk and she would be out side or driving and we always said hello to each day I was in the liquor store and she was there..I was getting my items and I remember walking down the same isle as her and she gently grabbed my hand...right there i got butterflies in my stomach...but I was raised that being Gay was wrong...I have always known deep down that I liked girls...but was so scared to come out and think about what would people think about me...I remember her watching me in my window..she would always look for me outside...then I broke her heart when a guy came into my life...we parted ways for 7 years.....I always thought about her...dreamed about her...even fantisied about her...her face was everywhere i looked....I had gotten married and started living a horrible life...mentally being abused...phisically, emotionally....Got cought up in making sure he did not overdose on i started drinking...finally had it with him and now I'm in the middle of a divorce....I was looking on which is a free dating site...and i got cerious and started looking in the Lesbian section because I have had enough with Men...low and behold there she I sent her a message about a week later we met up and fell in Love all over again...I know she is the one for me!!!!....The Love that I have for her will never die...all my friends say I look so much happier...even my family say's I look happier...I am soooooooooooooooooooo Happy...I have never felt this happy before in my life!!!!...I never want to loose this feeling....and I know she loves me....we are getting married as soon as my divorce is final..and when it is I will be DANCING out of the court house!!!!....I make sure everyday I tell her i love her with my whole heart....I can't live without her....I want to make her soooo happy....I will do anything for her...NEVER have I felt a Love like this....and i never want to loose it!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

New Life...

This year in 2011 has been the most challenging year for me. I have had alot of down falls and alot of blessings. I am going through a divorce, Thank God it's not a nasty one. but in the midst of everything came the Love of my life...We met when I was 17 and she was 19..we always flirted with each other but i was not sure of myself at the time...I was a confused girl...Now 7 years later after all the shit i have been through I finally found who I am and what I am...and I got the Love of my life back..I am so greatful to God for her...I love her with my everything...she holds the key to my heart...she always has I was just blind to it. Now i am the most happiest person ever. I know what and who I am..I was so stupid to not see me for me...I regret sooooooooooo much right now...I hate myself for what I did to my life...but i know I can make it better now...Ever since I split with my ex-husband I have become a better person, I know i can become a even more better person...and I have the most beautiful Girl in the world who I know will stand by me while I become a better person...I couldent be the most happiest person ever...

Lindsey, I love you, you are my soulmate, I will never let anything or anyone ever come between us, you compleate me, I asked God for one more chance at Love and you came back into my life, I'm so greatful for you baby, I promise to always love you, to always be there for you, to take care of you, I promise to never hurt you or leave are my evrything baby...not a moment goes by without me thinking about our future or our life and how great it's gonna be...I promise to always be by your side no matter what...I can't wait for the day for us to say "I do" to each will be the happiest day of my life.

One of My all time Fav songs for 2011